Backside melts into the sofa My world, my tv, and my food Besides listening to my belly gurgle Ain't much else to do Yeah, i sweat a lot Pants fall down every time i bend over And my feet itch Yeah - I married a scarecrow I hate you Talkin' to myself Everybody's starin' at me I'm only bleedin' Someone taps me on the shoulder every 5 minutes Nobody speaks english anymore Would anyone tell me if i was gettin' stupider? I hate you Talkin' to myself You don't feel it after awhile You take the beating I'm a swingin' guy Throw a belt over the shower curtain rod And swing - - - Toss me inside a hefty And put me in the ground A drink needs me I don't I ain't about to guzzle no tears So kiss my ass Newscasters, cockroaches, and desserts I hate you Talkin' to myself Everybody's starin' at me I'm only bleedin' where are the kids? Maybepregnantorondrugsoronwelfareontopoftheworlddont- thehonorrollonparoleontheDodgersonthebackofmilkcartons- onstakesinthemiddleofcornfieldsoncoversoffuturehistory- booksonoldlady'smantleswalkin'onwaternailedoncrosses I think it's time I had a talk with my kids I'll just tell 'em what my daddy told me